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heylo


welcome to my dreams



about me


My name is Tara Rose. I am a writer/producer in Brooklyn, NY. I often have very lucid, epic dreams, which I enjoy pondering & sharing with others.
Hence, this blog.

symbol cloud

winona ... animals ... apocalypse ... baby ... books ... death ... cartoons ... childhood ... family ... murder ... money ... film ... food ...

my blogs

website
interrobang‽
got film?
the country bandit

thanks

designer: .komie*
resources: dafont
patterns: adobe elements 6.0

Saturday, August 6, 2011
Dystopian Waterworld (August 6th, 2011)
It happened again - epic dream time.

It seems that these freak occurrences are facilitated by two factors:
a.) toss-and-turn moments of half consciousness, usually in the morning/late morning times when I am more apt to remember details
b.) incredibly long hours of sleep that leak into my afternoon

When I have an episodic dream, there's some sort of deep consciousness that is able to turn on within my brain during the dream itself which is responsible for storing the details of everything that I've dreamed into my memory banks - sometimes this recall happens during the dream itself in the form of a summarization...a dream-within-a-dream, if you will. I was even able to enter back into the same dream, after awaking for a fleeting moment, anxious to return to my adventure, as if I were merely reading a book or watching a movie that I had created myself, somehow.

Does this mean I'm a genius?
Or at the very least, some sort of dream-master?

I surely hope so.

At any rate, please enjoy:
August 5th
Dream started with me in this old college-NYU type neighborhood, experiencing all my old feelings of inadequacy. There was a film director class I had every Monday where they would send me an email with all the info. George Lucas was one of them, and I had to get my copies done across the street. There was another director who had this movie that looked very 70s-ish, where a guy found himself on the earth thousands of years later. Water was everywhere, and humans had adapted these straw-like bushels on their hands and feet in order to glide on the surface tension of the water.

I had gone to a party or two with my previous college guy friends and was disturbed by their behavior, which made me upset. I remember walking through a book store with an old roommate (whom I never particularly liked) and buying a small old book of fairytales wilth Chinese illustrations. When I bought it I signed the small receipt slip.

I went to a bunch of bars reminiscent of old Prague places. They were dark and served beer and food. I was there with R and we decided to make love right there since everyone was in having lunch and the front was open. We stopped abruptly when we got a call from C, who said she was working at another place and wanted us to meet her there. I remembered we didn't really like this place. We talked to two of the gay waiters, dressed in a vest and collar shirt, and asked them when they were getting married.

R left and suddenly C came in with this group of hippie-dressed bar people to do this weird dance and song to convince people to go to their bar. She acknowledged me silently. I wished I had gotten it on video for R. The bar owner gave one of the little kids a laser pointer. 

From then on, it was me going back and forth from floating boat to floating boat over water. The area was mostly a huge lake/sea, and people and places were actually floating boats. I realized I could sometimes jump from one to the other, but it was difficult carrying my laptop and kindle. There was a regular floaty sailboat, and then I had our own Lumina van which floated. Eventually the water went down a bit and I was able to walk with R to the top of the now dry hill and find my vehicle that had been washed up.

We were still supposed to meet C at this bar, but she had sent us a cryptic message saying that the "Browns" were looking for her, and R too. R was now this tall, thin guy.  I told him to wait before he left so we could come up with a game plan. It seemed that her bar owner guy was behind all of this. Two dogs arrived (a black and golden laborador retriever) with had notes tied to their mouths from C, who gave directions of where R would have to go, as well as a first aid kit. The moment we took them off, the eyes of the dog became red and he scanned our location, and went right back to the evil bar, where he went through a conveyor belt machine, presumably making our location known. I worried and told R to be careful. I set off myself for the bar (right next door) and confronted the bar master. At this point I was aware that this was all being shot by somoene for a movie behind a black curtain, so I made all my actions deliberate. I fought him in a pseudo-sword fight with a white plastic hanger and he overtook me. For a moment, I read this book which had Grecian looking people illustrated in it and found out how the bar guy and I were related, and how R was the savior I had been looking for. This was all happening as I was supposed to be playing unconscious on the floor. I worried that I kept messing up the camera shots when I moved slightly.
I had a marking on my hand that when I brandished made the bar owner back away in agony. When I was crying and he was about to attack me with a rock, R came in with really white make up on his face (they paused the "film" to tone this down), a Grecian-esque toga/mecha outfit with curly, long blonde Grecian hair. I found I was wearing a shear midnight blue paneled tunic skirt. R attacked him. He gathered me up to block the bar owner from harming me, and when he attacked, I put up my hand. He recoiled. He ran to grab my Kindle (something that appeared to be an important mechanism to his cause) and I tried to knock it out his way by wriggling. I finally caught it in my hand and threw it through a window, into the water.

He escaped and we ran to the edge of the floating bar and jumped in the water as we were shot at. We swam and swam, mostly underwater to avoid the shots, and realized that the city was changing. There was a huge fortress like city in the distance (evil) and the rest of the town had abandoned their houses, boats etc. Everything looked like it had been hit by a flood. We got to the end of the canal and met more bad guys, so we had to go back the other way underwater. Sometimes it was hard to see, and then at other times I could see everything clearly: R walking at the bottom of the "canal," almost like the bottom of a pool, not far behind. We saw some abandoned jet skis and tried to outrun our pursuers, but they were out of gas and we didn't get far. So we just hid behind some debris. After we lost them, he found me a house to wait in and we consummated our relationship in fear that it would be our last. This was sort of paralleled thoughts as I continued with my dream, and I swam around some debris trying to find my way to the new civilization.

They were beige buildings made of concrete with circular porthole windows, and everyone was dressed the same. I stuck out like a sore thumb (I was blondish with a polka dot dress) and they led me into this room where other "pretty" girls were waiting. I realized this was for prostitution. I tried to explain to them what they were getting into - some didn't understand and even cut me in line, including a woman with her husband. We took off our shoes (mine had my protection symbol on it now instead of my hand, which worried me) and were led into a room with all different kinds of beds. There was a tropical themed bed, which was essentially a bamboo mat on a floor with some palm trees. There was an oriental style sofa bed. One from the 1920s. Each one had toiletries next to it on a sort of little table, meant to keep the women clean between sessions. We were apalled and tried to get out.

Eventually I found out that this was a new society where the higher ups were on high ground, and those with less rights were in subterranean ground. We formulated a plan to escape, and I in particular tried to go down into those areas with things like flowers and other illegal items which us lower class were not allowed to possess. I couldn't find my combination to get into the door lock because  it was covered in snow, and for some reason my mom was asking me what I was doing there, which made me waste my time further. As a result I was chased by a motorcycle policeman and eventually faked my unconsciousness so that I had time to think about what to do next, seeing as how I couldn't run fast enough.

I kept waking up during this time so nothing truly made sense after this point. But I remember was looking down at the city and explaining the dream to other people. Also mentioned something about cosigning my siblings loans, which had been on my mind. The end of the dream I had broke in to an above ground room with some girls and we were trying to plan how to escape to the old canal town using the coves that were around the subterranean grounds. We could see everything from this big window above, as well as some possible routes to the gated off water. We all agreed that's what we would do next, as the events of the entire dream played as a sort of song verse.

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| 4:48 PM |

Monday, April 25, 2011
Eye of Horus (April 4, 2011)
This is a long one, so I'll let it speak for itself:
Monday, April 4th
Had a dream yesterday morning that I was in an Egyptian civilization, which was somehow stuck between both the past and future; there were traffic lights along the dirt road, vehicles along with carriages, and my father, the King, was talking to his disciples using a handheld intercom system. My sister was to be married, and had a little girl that she had with her at all times. There was a burial ceremony being held there, with a stone casket and a little casket for the weapons that were used to kill the man (or that the man owned?) I was backed into a stone tower where a guard ogled me and I ran away. At the same time, I seemed to be having a dilemma at my real-life work; these two worlds were somehow intertwined.


Later on my sister and I were stopped on the street by a news van that seemed to be from another, more civilized country, asking about our customs and current state of affairs. One of them showed my sister that they were wearing jeweled high heels, and my sister was immediately taken.

Later on my brother was having a birthday and was upset by his present. I assured him that it was because they loved him. We went into this tent bar where my sisters were; I suddenly realized I had needed to be there on time to see a soothsayer. There was a sign on the wall that said "Knock once and I will know you are here. You must give me 9-11 nail cuttings. Bring along the objects of your current thoughts." I peeled off some nail clippings, and held them tightly in my fist, along with an egg-shaped locket on a necklace and some gold rings that looked like an ankh*. I went to the back where there was a little curtained room, and an iron gate (like the ones that cover store fronts) in an even smaller curtained area within it.

My older brother was in front of me. Then they decided to do a group one with all of us; a sort of film opened up in the curtain where we saw this cave-like hell of bones and stone. Then a KFC commercial started playing, and there was an Egyptian battle being staged with McNuggets. The soothsayer put a heavy crown on both of us, as well as dried papaya/mango. She instructed us to drink ginger ale. There was a small ring (much like one of mine) floating in the air and she took it, asking if she could have it. I said that it was okay, as it seemed the ring had chosen her.

Later on in the dream, I found our exiled father bedridden in an odd modern looking apartment, hidden away behind many rooms and stairs. He was suffering from an STD that he got from another man. My siblings didn't want to help him, but I told them we must, as it was not his choice, and God must have wanted him to be this way. I walked onto a floating staircase in the other room where the set-up looked like a life-size dollhouse. There was a woman nursing a baby, but they looked like dolls. When I asked her a question, she came to life, and told me that she could not go to work because she was busy with the baby. I offered to babysit for her, and had a vision that I almost dropped the baby, as I could not grab a hold of it.

*So here's some interesting trivia...I was trying to figure out what the hell that little symbol was for the longest time after I had that dream.  I finally found it online: an ankh.

Here is Wikipedia's definition:
"The ankh appears frequently in Egyptian tomb paintings and other art, often at the fingertips of a god or goddess in images that represent the deities of the afterlife conferring the gift of life on the dead person's mummy; this is thought to symbolize the act of conception. Additionally, an ankh was often carried by Egyptians as an amulet, either alone, or in connection with two other hieroglyphs that mean "strength" and "health"......Mirrors of beaten metal were also often made in the shape of an ankh, either for decorative reasons or to symbolize a perceived view into another word."

Spooky huh?

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| 3:44 PM |

Home, Home on the Range (April 22, 2011)
When I was in high school, I volunteered as a historically colonial garbed farmhand at a place called Longstreet Farm in New Jersey. I loved it, even though it was often hot, dirty, and smelly. There was an old family home on the grounds that had been there since the 1800s, and I was infatuated with its history.

I haven't been there in so long, but it did dominate most of my summers. Wonder why it popped into my dreams lately...

April 22
Last night, or this morning, I had a dream that I was at Longstreet Farm with a little wagon or defunct lawnmower...it was fire engine red. They were setting up two concert stands. I was walking with my nice shoes and tights, and saw that other girls were wearing their pantyhose as well, some with no shoes. I was afraid of getting them dirty. I was wearing my coat, so hoped I would be taken for a worker since I still had my long farm skirt on. I found that there was a harmonica stuck up my sleeve, and I pulled it out but was afraid to play it, as I would draw attention or make people afraid of what I was carrying. I thought about the notes I would play in my mind and fingered the holes, which seemed to be emitting music on their own - I played rather well. I stopped dragging the lawnmower/wagon after I realized it was turning up grass. It had a shoulder strap so I carried it instead.

When I came back to the farmhouse (which was now my house transplanted on the land), I yelled at this platinum blonde haired girl for being mean to my sister. I went into the house, still with wooden planks, and saw the staircase was in the kitchen instead of the living room (other than that, it looked just like my real house before our addition). But it led to a closed ceiling, and I was disappointed because I wanted to go up and see my room.

Also, we passed by my aunt's house on the corner (which has been in many of my passed dreams), and it was being demolished. We were all sad to see it go.

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| 3:30 PM |

Thursday, March 24, 2011
Traveler's Anxiety (March, 20th 2011)
Ever since I've finalized plans to visit Europe again in May, it's been on my mind constantly. That's why the following dream didn't surprise me very much. My previous experiences with study abroad, and the nostalgic memories it holds must have played a part in my current worries and anticipations for a short and sweet vacation.

Leave it to me to have slightly anxiety-ridden dreams about paperwork.
March 20th
Had a dream that I was applying for another study abroad with NYU, and I was sort of going in and out of it and being MIA from my job - in my absence they hired Tina Fey, so I felt a little better. In this new place where I was sort of in a different country but not really, I was trying to buy food in the cafeteria and there was a huge line, where people kept cutting. It went over hedges and on rocks, until we finally got a measly place where I grabbed some weird gummy candies, chicken strips and such. There were also some donuts and rugelach that looked like crumbs in a bag. They sold reusable plates. Elyse was also there. In the souvenir shop I asked my dad to get me a huge stuffed pizza that glowed in the dark and had a smiley face. I was picking up all these leftover things from people's old rooms, like Sailor Moon cards and small plastic food boxes. I couldn't believe that I hadn't picked them up when I was still in the dorm alone. The people that had remodeled the dorms said it was hard as they found so much, like an old TV covered in dust. But there were some places with holes where they found gold and money that was hidden; they used it to buy a $300 Sega. I thought it was odd that someone could get their hands on gold in the first place.

I went to a huge auditorium where they introduced teachers, one of which was an expert on the macabre. I had $500 of bills and coins in my hands the whole time - I also found some crackers and asked if anyone wanted some. At one point I went over to this guy's desk to apply - he was flirting with some guy on the phone who was handling billing. I went through all the documents but didn't have my W2s. I also was missing some important essays, and he urged me to write in different languages about my experiences. The auditorium was an old library, and the librarian was away. We found some old books and a bunch of German wooden puppets. I told him I would fax over the documents right away. Justin Timberlake also happened to be there. I was worried that trying to go to this study abroad thing with R just being on vacation would be too much, and I was also worried I wouldn't get accepted in.

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| 8:27 AM |

March Madness (March, until the 12th, 2011)
I may have not written in a while, and real life may be awful busy, but that doesn't mean my brain hasn't also run rampant with chaos. Here are some samplings of what I was able to jot down of my nightly musings:
- Had a dream that I was at a party and invited Bill Murray. He came. Everyone started playing a grammar game that we both didn't understand.

- Weird cult where they forced kids to have sex; I was running from machine gun fire in a town that was exploded in oatmeal. Later on in the dream I had to have a smack-down ala Street Fighter in this Japanese looking room with another girl. Threw her around like a rag doll.

March 10th
Was holding a baby pig; also was friend with these girls, found out later my mom had seen them dead in the playground, murdered by a pedophile; one of their legs was cut off, and they were stuck together like Siamese twins.

March 12th
Dream where i was in a huge art studio, and we were doing an exercise where i needed to make a summer themed puppet - I found a stuffed cheeseburger and tried to get matching cloth, but it wasn't working; also there was a point where i was friends with Lady Gaga and she was taking a shower in my grandma's old bathroom.

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| 8:20 AM |

Thursday, February 24, 2011
Rubber Breakfast Foods & Small Journeys (Feburary 14-15th, 2011)
Feb. 14th
This Saturday morning I had a dream that I was looking at fake food in a grocery store (in the clearance section.) There was a lot of breakfast food, and a box that included eggs, waffles and bacon. All of them were made of this sort of gelatinous rubber, and I really wanted to buy some, but wasn't sure when I'd ever use it or where I'd put it.

I went outside to get on the bus to Brooklyn and there was this Jerry Stiller guy there and I found out he had made his sister sleep with him. He was trying to kill her, and then he was trying to kill R and I. We tried to run from his goons into an old church/restaurant boat. They were shooting at us, and I was eating someone's leftover apple pastry.

There was also another dream in which I was part of this Smith family that was dysfunctional; they were pointing out stories they wrote on typed, old paper, which were glued to the ceiling. I tried to have R read them, but he was not interested. One of them was about H, and he found that someone had done an art book on her. I got into a bus trying to go home but ended up going into Staten Island. There was a spot that looked familiar from an old dream, but not where my grandmother lived. Finally we got to her house, but she was very obese and unfamiliar.

Dreamed last night that we got tickets to Italy; also that we were at a party for the Stromberg family (Aunt K had give the tickets to me so that we could all go with my cousin and her boyfriend and my mom). I went upstairs to tell R, who for some reason looked like a 1930s version of Hardy with a little hat. He kept tearing up the rubber from the roof as it rained, and I had to tell him to stop or he would go through the ceiling.

Dreamed yesterday that I was sort of crafting a movie/film of my life - I was at a beach-side place where I encountered Esther and other high school people I knew - I was sort of aloof around them. Also, I had a fight with my mom. I was walking around in a bikini, but when older men started to stare at me I recoiled into my towel.

I walked on a floating wooden board on the sea at one point pretending to show these people something of my movie and then they fell in, with my towel. I was on the shore and people were having a toss game in the pool although half the terrain was covered in snow. I went running after a dog that looked like mine.

Feb. 15
Had a dream that there as some sort of apocalyptic thing happening in a mall-ish place. I was with a group of people, and we were trying not to get caught by ravenous tigers, which were ripping people apart. We finally got into this car and were able to fly away, high above the city, where most people were wandering aimlessly. On the way we picked up a young woman and her child walking on the side of the road. We saw odd buildings (sort of like Brooklyn-esque) and then landed in the water near a cardboard floating house.

We found a better vinyl tent looking toy where we could live inside safe. It was tiny and so were we, for some reason. We used place mats for the floor, and one of our guys stole the hat from a hobo and complained he wasn't sure how he would shave. At the end of the dream, we were going to go on a hike and were worried about leaving our stuff there for looters.
Is it weird that when I dream, and then recollect those dreams I am reminder of other dreams I've had in the past? Is it because they all conglomerate into one holding place in my mind? Or have I actually had that dream again and just don't remember? Or do things from the dream that night remind me?

It would be interesting if there was a place in my mind reserved for only dream material, and it wouldn't be that surprising either. I guess you can consider that my subconscious - but then, what else is in there?

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| 1:14 PM |

Death is a Strange Thing (February 10, 2011)
The first few, of what would come to be, many nightmares:

Feb. 10th
I don't why I keep having subtly disturbing dreams. This morning, I had a dream that I was depositing a bag of my dog's dead body (with tissues of blood inside) to the funeral parlor. I was getting choked up, even though it seemed to have happened weeks ago. They had me sign some papers and scheduled it for a Sunday in July. I was thinking in my dream that it was a long time to have a dead body lying around, and if they did taxidermy.

I also had some faint dreams of going to India and not really having a good time. I was waiting for a girl to pick me up in a taxi, but had to pay my own way. We went to visit a friend who had a yard with lots of stubbly weeds and ants, which were crawling all over my feet. The scenery looked oddly like what's in my dreams of NYC, although more of a countryside instead. I'm trying to remember more now, but it keeps flickering in and out. I know there's something else that happened, I just can't grasp it right now. Maybe it'll come to me later when I least expect it, which is usually the case.

It also reminds me of another dream I had a few weeks ago, where I was at this thrift shop where all my grandma's old things were being sold. We were trying to buy them back (I don't know if she was still around.) They had an old train car that was furnished to look like the 40s, and there were some of her old clothes, shoes and a wardrobe inside. We were finding her old dresses and rolling up a big carpet or comforter. The first thing I had spotted that was hers was a box that had her name engraved in it, with a picture I recognized on the front.

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| 1:02 PM |